Now that I am back in Irvine from winter break, I definitely feel more useful not only to myself but to others around me. I thoroughly enjoy living independently, a certain distance away from my parents. However, I have recently been feeling somewhat "guilty" for leaving the
bird's nest and trying to fly out into the real world. I understand and acknowledge that I am fully capable grown woman ready to leave and start my own life, but right now, I think I'm more worried about leaving my family than they about about me leaving. To some degree, I am sure this is worst for my parents because they have finally raised me to their greatest abilities and the time has come to finally leave the nest. Why am I feeling guilty that I am growing up and moving on? Because they are my parents, the only set I will ever have, the only people who have known me since conception, the two people along with my brother who hold 90% of all the love in my heart (the other 10% goes to my friends). They are amazing, that's why.
The concept of family is that every person holds a significant role, this is how I see it. In my family, I know that both my parents and my brother all depend on me whether they know it or not. My role in my family is being the
connector. When I am in Irvine, although I am not physically present at my house, I am just a one hour drive away from home and will be available for anybody. I'm not sure if that will be the case once I graduate college. I am still obviously part of my family, however I may not be just a hop, skip, and jump away from home. I feel like a baby with separation anxiety from their parents once they become attached to their parents.